Counselling Articles | Etobicoke Psychotherapy : Balanced Mind & Wellness Inc.

Immediate Gratification and Addiction

Immediate gratification is the need to have, do, or ingest something in the moment, and is a component of addiction and people who suffer with addictions. People with substance abuse are in continual conflict with themselves and their decision-making. Immediate gratification is also seen as indulgence for the immediate self, and prudence or guilt for the future self.

Our behavior seems to be controlled by the need for immediate gratification and the need to be concerned with the long-term satisfaction. Individuals suffering from an addiction do have both these needs, and also have a hard time balancing them. Having just a plan or goal is not enough. We are at battle with two sets of interests or ideals, and the interests of these two selves do not always coincide. Many psychologists like to view it as the mind consisting of multiple-states that may to varying degree be in conflict with one another. In this case, there is no one executive decision maker in the mind, and every decision is a cooperation of different self-states. Those with addictive personalities tend to suffer in this cooperation of self-states phase.

This problem with self-control and immediate gratification explains why we are conflicted and inconsistent in our decisions and actions. The inconsistencies of self-control is mainly about conflict between two selves (ex: the one who wants to be sober and the other who wants a drink right now). This conflict is ultimately between a person who is both motivated to act in some particular way and who is also motivated to restrain that action. The conflict in decision is there as a matter of timing, which may be impacted by a current physical or emotional state. The decision to drink, or give into another addiction, may be exacerbated by a vulnerable point in time, such as an emotional crises or a time of personal stress.

The best way to handle this self-conflict or inability to avoid immediate gratification is to increase self-awareness. It is about being aware of this change in desire before it happens, and understanding what vulnerabilities we may have to making choices we may later regret. Ultimately, we must win the battle of the good and evil, and not give into temptation. People with addictions must make conscious choices to prevent themselves from making the wrong choice if given an opportunity later. If it is going to bars that create the ultimate temptation for immediate gratification for alcohol, then it is time to avoid bars until you feel confident in your self-control. Stop yourself and think about the longterm consequences before running to what is best right now.

Please go to https://www.etobicokepsychotherapy.com/addiction-counselling-etobicoke/ for more information or to speak to someone regarding yourself or someone you may be concerned about with an addiction or substance abuse problem.

Recover from an Eating Disorder

The road to eating disorder recovery starts with admitting you have a problem. This can be the most difficult part of the recovery process, especially if you’re still clinging to the belief that weight loss is the key to happiness, confidence, and success. The most important roadblock to a successful recovery is when old habits are still hard to break.

If you are motivated to change, these unhealthy habits and routines can be broken. A more important part of the recovery process, however, is about rediscovering who you are beyond your eating habits, weight, and body image. True recovery from anorexia and bulimia involves learning to listen to your body, listen to your feelings, trust yourself, accept yourself, and to love yourself. These are all major milestones in eating disorder recovery.

Another big step is asking for help. It can be scary and embarrassing to seek help for an eating disorder; however, gaining support from a trusted friend, family member, or work colleague is for many people a major advance on the path to recovery. Alternately, some people find it less threatening to confide in a treatment specialist, such as an eating disorder counsellor.

Whoever you select as a confidant, set aside a specific time to discuss your situation with them, ideally in a quiet, comfortable place away from other people and distractions. Whoever you do confide in may be shocked at the news you are telling them, or they may expect it. Chances are, they will be unsure of how to respond or the best way to help you. This is where it is important to take time to educate them about your specific eating disorder and how you would like their support in the eating disorder recovery process.

https://www.etobicokepsychotherapy.com/eating-disorder-counselling-etobicoke/

How to break addiction habits

When breaking a habit, or an addiction, repetition is key. There must be stable context cues available in order to trigger a new pattern. It’s easier to maintain the behavior if it’s repeated in a specific context. When the cues for existing habits are removed, it’s easier to form a new behaviour. Practicing abstinence from substances or alcohol in similar situations or places provide this context. Having an initial cue is a crucial component.

A lot of our daily lives consist of habits we develop over a lifetime. They become automatic, and it becomes difficult to recognize them in our own behaviour. We may not realize it, but if you recorded your week’s activities, you would see that at least half are repeated day in and day out. They become comfortable patterns of behaving, and are often rewarded with some form of reinforcement (such as appraisal from another person).

Intentions are usually the beginning of the process of forming a new habit. Most often, we aware of our intentions. Intentions can change quickly because we can make conscious decisions about what we want to do in the future that may be different from the past. However, when the habitual mind is engaged, our habits function largely outside of awareness. Habits change slowly through repeated experience. Our minds don’t always adapt in the best way possible. Even when you know the right answer, the habitual behaviour remains rigid and stubborn.

Educational programs and counselling/ therapy are geared toward improving your day-to-day habits. These standard interventions are very successful at increasing motivation and desire. You will almost always leave feeling like you can change and that you want to change. The programs give you knowledge and goal-setting strategies for implementation, but these programs only address the intentional mind. This means that you must enter with the intention to change and the desire to change. Getting there is often half the battle.

For more information on addiction counselling and substance abuse counselling, please visit: https://www.etobicokepsychotherapy.com/addiction-counselling-etobicoke/

Effects of Disrupted Sleep on Mental Health

Researchers discovered that being woken from a deep slumber from any sort of disruption (such as technology or crying baby) causes the same confusion, depression and fatigue as being severely sleep-deprived. As a result, this can have a detrimental effect on on-call professionals, including doctors or firemen, impacting upon their attention span and ability to make decisions.

Individuals who work ‘on call’ may receive several phone calls a night. These nightly wakings could be relatively short — only five to 10 minutes — but they disrupt the natural sleep rhythm. This negatively impacts one’s cognitive and emotional wellness. It has been found that disrupted sleepers were more confused, depressed, and fatigued. Research has shown a direct link between disrupted sleep and poor attention spans and negative mood after only one night of frequent interruptions. Anger can also be linked to this fatigue as a result of disrupted sleep.

Everyone, despite their profession or lifestyle, should be aware of the detrimental effects of the various kinds of disruption in sleep on daily functioning and mood. Thus, disrupted sleep can negatively affect one’s mental health. We should all consider countermeasures to avoid disruptions (such as cell phones on overnight), to minimize their consequences on our mental health.

Managing Anxieties and Worries

We all worry about how to manage anxieties and worries. Many are distraught from others around us: their struggles and tragedies. With increasing difficulties in finding jobs, entering school programs, and managing relationships, stress is ever-present. But are we equipped to deal with it effectively?

Constant worries and concerns about those around us are becoming more apparent. Understanding and controlling these worries are important so that they do not impede on our thoughts and affect our behaviours. When anxieties form, they can become a vicious cycle of worries – one leads to another, and so on. Uncontrollable worrying is a distressing affliction that feels as though it can become an inseparable part of your personality and character. Chronic worrying is often driven by a need to worry to “make sure things will all be OK”. This will affect your mood, and consequently, will have detrimental effects on your relationships, your work life, and your social life.

When you catch yourself worrying, focus on problem-solving. Make use of your worry, because it has a purpose… it is not useless. Continuing a worry and letting it spiral out of control will lead to less solutions. It’s important not to focus on what may or may not happen. Uncertainty is okay and should be accepted. Unexpected things happen, and accepting this in the longer term will make your life easier and reduce your anxieties.

Learn and read more about anxiety and how to manage it here: https://www.etobicokepsychotherapy.com/anxiety-counselling-etobicoke/

Acknowledge Your Success and Decrease Low Mood

Chances are, you are succeeding according to yours, others, or both standards. Everyone measures success in different ways. How do you measure your personal success? You need to give yourself more credit than you think you deserve! It is important to remind ourselves of successes we have had when we are down or in a depressed mood.

Depression often arises out of persistent low moods and lack of interest in usual activities. This often stems from low confidence levels. Are you being too hard on yourself? It is important to acknowledge your success and perhaps re-evaluate your level of personal expectations. It is important to aim high, while setting attainable goals to achieve self-confidence.

For more on how to alleviate depression and depression counselling, please go to:  

https://www.etobicokepsychotherapy.com/anxiety-counselling-etobicoke/

The nature of happiness

Happiness is not automatic – it does not come without effort and perseverance. You are the source for your light and hope. You choose whether you succeed and whether you are happy!

Be proactive in solving any issues or concerns you may have. Seek help for persistent low moods you may experience. Obtain your happiness… create your happiness with the help of someone else in times of great suffering.

https://www.etobicokepsychotherapy.com/depression-counselling-etobicoke/

happiness quote

Think Positive to Increase Happiness

Think positive… one of my favourite sayings. Years ago, my father told me that these two words are his ‘mantra’ or positive self-talk, and they always stuck with me. Any version of this can be helpful to say in your mind when you are going through a difficult time or emotion. Positive self talk can be instrumental in increasing your personal happiness. Please read the following quote by Gandhi. Use it to guide some of your days or struggles you may be going through.

The Importance of Affection in Relationships

One of the most common improvements most couples can make to their relationship and to decrease relationship issues is by learning how to greet and be affectionate with one another (hellos, goodbyes, etc). This can be in the quality and the quantity. It is often overlooked; it is up to you to determine and spend time to understand what you think your partner appreciates and desires the most.

We often learn to take our significant others for granted, not paying attention to little efforts we can make to show our affection for our other half. These simple signs of affection, such as a hug, kiss, or any physical contact are key gestures that subconsciously grow our bond with our partner.We often say ‘it’s the little things that count’, and this is one of them. It should be commonplace for these signs of affection to occur daily.

It is hard to believe how many little things, such as greetings with affection, may take a toll on our relationship if they are not present. Although a simple tip, it is surprising how many couples forget ‘the little things that matter’ over the years. Please take this as a healthy reminder, and consider the importance of affection in relationships.

For further relationship advice, relationship counselling, or relationship psychotherapy, please contact me.

https://www.etobicokepsychotherapy.com/relationship-counselling-etobicoke/

The Benefits of Relaxation for Anxiety

There are various positive benefits of relaxation for anxiety. The ability to relax or to decrease anxiety issues is becoming more and more difficult with modern technology and other disruptions in our life. In order to relax with more awareness or to alleviate feelings of anxiety, please continue reading.

– Deep relaxation can help reduce anxiety. Regular practice of deep relaxation of 20 to 30 minutes on a daily basis can produce, over time, a generalization of relaxation to the rest of your life. That is, after several weeks of practicing deep relaxation once per day, you will tend to feel more relaxed all the time.

– Reduces the frequency and severity of panic attacks

– Increased energy level

– Prevention and/or reduction of migraines, headaches, ulcers, etc

– Decreased muscular tension

– Decrease in heart rate and blood pressure

Relaxation Script

Find a quiet comfortable place. Get into a relaxed and comfortable position. Close your eyes.

Think of relaxing every muscle in your body, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

Focus on your breathing; draw deep, full breaths, let them out slowly, and feel yourself relax as you breathe out.

As you exhale, imagine releasing any remaining tension from your body, mind, or thoughts, letting all your stress and worries go.

With every breath you inhale, feel your body drifting down deeper…down deeper into total relaxation. Now imagine yourself in the midst of a peaceful scene. This could be the beach, the forest, somewhere you’ve been before, or somewhere you imagine.

Imagine your peaceful place as vividly as possible, as if you were really there.

What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell? How do you feel?

Feeling relaxed and peaceful in your special place, continue to draw deep full breaths, letting them out slowly – feel yourself relax as you breathe out.  Relaxation techniques can be very helpful for someone with mild to severe feelings of anxiety. It can be helpful to practice these techniques on your own as well as with a therapist, who can guide you through obstacles you may face while attempting the exercises.  Please contact me for help with relaxation for anxiety or anxiety counselling and psychotherapy.

https://www.etobicokepsychotherapy.com/anxiety-counselling-etobicoke/

Online Therapy

Give us a Call

Book Online

Hours

Category: Counselling Articles